So why exactly, O dear birdie, do you choose my harmless little contraption sitting out in the sun to relieve yourself on? There might be a thousand monster trucks and 38 year old Cadillacs in the park, but amazingly you will always choose my vehicle to learn your version of body painting. World over, an avian flu disaster comes a distant second to how much of a trouble you crapping on vehicles is.
While I have been thinking of this over the past month or so, my only real favourite TV show Top Gear chose to feature this on one of their programmes. How very convenient to escape reading the rest of my balderdash here.
On one of our family seaside trips, we happened to camp out by the beach for some lunch and lounging around. Needless to say the birds still tried enforcing the same fate on us as the cars. To my dismay the seagulls would not move an inch, however close I got to faking a hit with a polythene bag. A bunch of them got together and ended up making us finish a stone's worth of food in split minutes. (Don't ask me what a split minute is, split seconds just sounded too improbable there)
When we could finally find a place to rest- away from the birds, a strong cold sea breeze caught our attention to a huge rock about a mile into the ocean. Size of a five storey building, it appeared like any other random landform- but for the tens and thousands of birds nestled on it. As many other such jaunts are called, it was The Bird Rock. After a few minutes of looking around a steady icy drizzle drove us back indoors and away from the ocean for the rest of the day.
On the way back home we got discussing about wildlife in general, finally veering into those birds and how aggressive they were. I felt compelled to think that at some point in the distant past, they would have survived by living on land and never ever taken to the seas. Somewhere down the line they lost ground, quite literally.. before we gained control. Over the years, apart from the occasional bird attacks and droppings, they learnt to be content with a distant rock in the sea which no man can reach. Thus we peacefully coexist with our dear winged cousins, but for one niggle.
I still have no explanation why most of them choose a vehicle that I own- to shower their bowels on, and not someone else's.
If you are reading this part of the post, it either means
1. You never clicked on the TopGear link
2. You thought this was going to be a funny article but got lost somewhere in the fifth or sixth paragraph.. and are now checking this portion out to see if I have a tone to the story. For which my answer is unfortunately no.
3. You always read just the last few lines of my blog.
4. You are a random(useless) Googler interested in half-baked political stories who searched for a BJP/DMK Alliance and landed up here.
5. You love reading what I write.
As I live in the improbable hope that most of you will choose 5, that will be it from me..for now.